Odds and Ends

These are some random notes I had on my old cell phone that I needed to do something with before junking.

If it's any consolation is never a fair consolation

Uhm is for horses

You know what a mess does don't you? It makes a me out of sssss.

Steve, George and Jason Segal tv show called My Thre Segals.

How many actual family feuds has Family Feud caused?

I love it when people tell me I can't do smething. Because it saves me so much time.

Jamba Juice as insta-care. "Get me a Jamba, I have a cold coming on." "Get me a Jamba, I have a broken leg?"

Nation's mothers wish you would start taking care of yourself.

Newborn's crying falls on deaf ears as mom pours over Us magazine at checkout stand.

Cash Cab parody for rural areas - drunk cab? First question, Why'd my wife leave me?!

Coming Soon!

Ryan Renolds, Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughy, Sandra Bullock and that girl from Gray's Anatomy in what critics are calling "a movie". How to Lose Your Girlfriend's 27 Proposal Dresses. She's a big city magazine editor, and he's just a delivery boy. The other one is a publicist and one of them is an assistant to a designer, while the other one is just a bartender. But sparks fly when Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn" starts playing as one of them bumps into one of the other ones forcing them to kiss or something. Did we mention it's set in New York? And there's a neighbor who's all up in their business and a coworker that looks over her cube and lowers her glasses whenever the UPS guy walks by. In what critics are calling, "technically a film".

China Company Buys Hummer, Comedians Rejoice!

Great news for guys! You can tell your wife you're getting a "Chinese Hummer" without getting slapped in the face.

Great news for guys! You can now get a "Chinese Hummer" without the unnecessary massage!

Who am I Jay Leno? These are terrible.

Ask Yourself This Question

Are you more known for the things you hate than the things you love?

Bib Poppa

It's gonna get messy up in here.

Never Been Cool

[10:13] stephanie: here's a link to that top 10 HS I was talking to you about.

[10:13] stephanie: http://www.ksl.com/?sid=6223798&nid=148

[10:19] danny: no Carbon. Huh

[10:19] stephanie: hahahaha

[10:19] danny: I guess teen pregnancy and tipping cows were not factors.

[10:19] stephanie: nope. Sorry. my HS was better I guess

[10:19] stephanie: Alta girl...always and forever

[10:20] stephanie: Who am I kidding. I wore sweatpants to school because I thought it was cool

[10:20] danny: well I wore a silk shirt on my first day of high school and you could see every sweat drop.

[10:21] danny: I bought it at Chess King.

[10:22] danny: I never felt less like a King than I did that day.

Unnecessary App

If your doctor is reading your MRI on his iPhone - he's probably too hip to give you proper medical care. In fact, he's probably downloading the latest Yeah Yeah Yeah's album while you bleed out on his operating table. Thanks but no thanks Apple.